There are just an overwhelming number of posts under both the cyclothymia and quetiapine tags which bring me down. They’re sad and hard, about medication not working, uncontrollable mood swings, depression, side effects, social deprivation.

So I thought I’d tell my story, for a little bit of hope.

To start - I am a 32 year old woman from Aotearoa New Zealand. The psych who diagnosed me with cyclothymia six months ago suggests that I’ve been experiencing symptoms for about 20 years - since puberty. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue and ADHD. None of these were correct.

Cyclothymia is a mood disorder in the same family as bi-polar. It means I experience depression and hypomania. My highs aren’t as high and my lows aren’t as low as bi-polar 1 or 2, and I’m on a shorter cycle - generally my depressive episodes last 2-4 weeks, and mania 2-5 days. There is nothing else, just the rollercoaster.

I take 250mg of quetiapine each evening for two reasons. First to even out those mood swings. My depression becomes closer to even keel, and on top of the medication can be managed by actions - fresh food, fresh air, time with people I love, routines to make it easier to get out of bed and maintain a hygiene routine. My mania is less effected, but the most important thing for me is that I’m aware that I’m manic - it makes it much easier to ensure I don’t over-commit myself (which screws me over when the fog descends).

The second reason I medicate is the long term impact of unmanaged cyclothymia. In this sense, it can be thought of like pre-diabetes. Not a guarantee you’ll develop the disease - in my case the much more harmful bi-polar 2 - but if you are careful you can squash that possibility. The more I actively manage my condition, the less likely disorder evolution is.

Sure, I experience some side effects. Orgasm is a little more difficult. I have such a dry mouth some morning it sounds like I’m slurring. Getting up in the morning is hard, but let’s be honest, getting up in the morning when you’re depressed isn’t exactly a picnic.

Over all, after 6 months of medicating? My life is measurably better. I’m better able to spend time maintaining relationships. My overall sex drive is more consistent. I don’t feel like I’m racing ahead and everyone round me are idiots who can’t keep up with my train of thought. I don’t over-commit one day, to under deliver the next. In 6 months, I haven’t once thought I don’t actively want to die, but wouldn’t it be easier for everyone if I never existed?

I’m a better friend, partner, colleague. I’m more me. I play piano and sew dresses I’ll never wear and read absolute trash romance novels. I collect vinyl - I order an album and anticipate it’s arrival, not forget in a fog. I can budget, because I can find happiness in more than just consumerism and an endless cycle of couriers.

It’s not for everyone, and it’s not everything. I still need to take a walk, plan my week, make more of an effort than neurotypical folk. On recommendation, because 2023 is going to be a landmark year for me, I’m starting cognitive behavioral therapy so I have more tools when life gets more intense.

But I wouldn’t go back.

stupidlybookish:

Garrick: I know you think my judgement is clouded because I like Imogen a little bit…

Xaden: You doodled your wedding invitation.

Garrick: No, that’s our joint tombstone.

Xaden:

Xaden: Sorry, my mistake.

siobhanbooks:

incorrect fw quotes

sloane: if you want to date me, you have to defeat my 5 overprotective family members

whoever: you have 5 overprotective family members?

sloane: yes

sloane: there’s xaden, my foster brother/dad; Liam, my actual older brother; bodhi, my brother-in-law/foster uncle; Garrick, Xaden’s best friend; imogen, Bodhi’s best friend

whoever: and I have to meet-

sloane: defeat

whoever: defeat all of them

sloane: pretty much

sloane: or you’ll never gain their blessing or respect

hunterofartemisblog:

tuttle-did-it:

David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.

She just proved his point

anneofgreengaybles:

lizluvscupcakes:

axolotlife:

birthisacurse-and:

mj-irl:

lady-feral:

tikkety-tok:

FUCKING PREACH

It’s all about control, sexism, racism, it’s not about babies or lives or the Bible

Okay, but I’ve seen this argument thrown around for years, and I never believed it because it’s been pushed into my brain since I was a child by my extremely Christian parents that abortion is fundamentally evil because it goes against the Bible. But I’m taking a 2nd Wave Feminism course and I finally found out that this is actually 100% true? Until the Reagan campaign and associated Republican politicians tried to find another social issue to sway Southerners, especially Southern women, in their favor, abortion was not a primary issue for churches. It was only when feminists started mobilizing and, as a result, many institutions such as the Catholic church tried to mobilize against them that churches started advocating against abortion. Abortion did not become an issue of morality for the right until the 70s. Before then, abortion was simply not discussed because most things relating to sex weren’t publicly discussed. So no, according to popular belief, the argument that abortions are killing babies did not always exist, it was just an argument crafted when the Republican party needed another social group to oppress for political points

Of course it was Reagan

Why’s it always Reagan?

there’s a very good you’re wrong about episode that covers the rise of the anti-choice movement

dropoutposts:

foxesdontscareme:

ally beardsley loves playing weird guys and hot bitches and thank god for that

#DOES PLAYING AS BRENNAN COUNT?

More than anything

3dmonstermaze:

cleopatrachampagne:

shocked bystander at sydney, australia’s annual mardis gras pride parade (1994)

For those who give a shit about it, this is a staged photo, the woman on the left is a drag queen doing a bit. Here’s a few more photos of her taking in the beautiful sights and sounds of the parade:

(by Mervyn L. Fitzhenry)

wardog-of-the-endless:

avaantares:

Yet another AO3 bot situation - please spread the word!

Hi, it’s me again, the person who wrote that viral post about fanfiction plagiarism! Today I’m here to warn you about abuse perpetrated by bots who have stolen AO3 usernames.

There’s currently an epidemic of bots going around leaving (apparently random) horrible, hateful comments on people’s fics. This isn’t the first time bots have invaded AO3, but the big problem with this wave is that they’re using real AO3 usernames to do it.

I learned about this when another writer contacted me after receiving the following comment on their story:

ALT

Now, while that is my username, I DEFINITELY did not leave this comment (and anyone who would leave something like that on a fic should be slapped! What an awful thing to post). This fic is in a completely unrelated fandom that I have never participated in, nor has that author participated in any of my fandoms, so the probability of it being some intentional fandom drama thing to make me look bad is also low.

The writer whose fic the comment was left on enlisted the aid of some friends and tracked down other guest comments with unrelated usernames attached, which is pretty strong evidence that they are being left by bots at random.

The TL;DR: If you receive a cruel comment from a (Guest) with an actual AO3 username attached, it’s most likely from a bot. Please do not lash out at or dogpile the AO3 user who owns that name, and who in all likelihood has no idea that their name has been hijacked for evil.

If finding this kind of comment on a fic, even left by a bot, is likely to upset you, I would recommend changing your comment settings so that only users who are logged in can leave comments. To do this, edit your story settings, and under “Privacy,” select the radio button that says “Only registered users can comment,” as shown below.

ALT

Please spread the word to other AO3 users! And if you see mean guest comments on other fics, maybe let the author know that it’s probably from a bot and not a real person who thinks their writing is bad.

I promise you I (and the majority of the authors I know) would NEVER leave a mean or hateful comment on a fic! We all understand how to back-arrow or close out of something that is not working for us. Please note this new bot issue!

beggars-opera:

plague-of-insomnia:

urban-trek-thru-middle-earth:

Just looked at a blog where the header description said ‘sometimes I reblog posts I like so I don’t forget them’.

And I feel like that, right there, explains so much about how the site has changed in the last few months.

People now think reblogging is an unusual behaviour, rather than a default.

Tumblr newbies, please, for the love of baby Jesus, reblog the posts you like. That is the whole reason the site exists - for you to collect all your shiny fandom objects in a single space. Which you can organize to your heart’s content. Or not organize at all, if that’s your jam.

Our blogs are intended to be collections of posts, not collections of likes.

THE ENTIRE POINT OF TUMBLR IS REBLOGGING.

Liking does absolutely nothing. There is no algorithm like on IG that will use likes to throw content at people. If you don’t reblog, then no one who doesn’t follow that person (or happen to find it in the tags) will see that post.

Tumblr is supposed to be your bookcase where you show off all of your pretties: the posts you like and the ones that you want to promote to support the other creators in your fandom/community.

I will say I cringe a bit at the “likes do nothing” angle, because it does start to feel accusatory. Likes do do something. They allow you to save posts without reblogging them, or to show appreciation for posts without reblogging them. A person might be running a very specific niche blog and want to save/support things without it showing up there. It’s fine to like things. The thing it doesn’t do is recirculate those posts to a wider audience. So if you compound all those people who are liking rather than reblogging, a post will eventually peter out and die at a faster rate because it is reaching fewer people.

In fact, tumblr does have algorithms in place to mitigate this, but many long-time users choose not to use them. There is the “for you” page along with “liked by” and “based on your likes.” The fact that you are even able to choose to use any of these in isolation makes tumblr lightyears ahead of other sites. We’ve just stuck our heels in and decided to ignore those features. And that’s fine too! I ignore them as well! But it doesn’t do us any good to tell people that they’re using the site wrong when there are many ways to use the site.

It is important though, to reiterate to those new users that reblogging is, in fact, the way most users use the site, and that while other platforms may have implied that reblogging is stealing, or creepy, or what have you, that is very much not the culture here. It’s more like an incredibly uncategorized Pinterest board than anything else. And because the culture leans away from the algorithms, reblogs do much more heavy lifting. You can think of liking something as saying “I’m interested in this but keeping it to myself” and reblogging as telling your friends, “Hey, I found this cool thing I like, and other people might like it too, so I’m sharing with everyone.” This both keeps the post in circulation and reassures the person who made it that other people are, in fact, actually seeing their stuff. That reassurance is most keenly felt with people who make art or art-related content like photo of gifsets who benefit the most from exposure.

but-the-library-of-alexandria:

say what you want about bridgerton I know it’s not a Good Show or whatever but nicola coughlan insisting on being ‘as naked as possible’ in this series as a 'fuck you’ to everyone saying she’s too fat to be a romantic lead and because 'when I’m 60 I wanna watch it and remember how fucking hot I was’ is ICONIC BEHAVIOR

stargirlsuicide:

‘why r you smiling at your phone’ cool girls from tumblr interacting with me mind ur business

queen-scribbles:

jager-bruder:

official-spiderman-noir:

official-spiderman-noir:

official-spiderman-noir:

My dad’s name is Kermit so he thinks it’s funny to post things like this

There he is, the frog man

Yall aren’t reblogging the version of this with Kermit dressed as Snow White and my little brother pointing a toy gun at him and this upsets me

synthfagdyke:

books-andbiscuits:

wodneswynn:

insanelycoolish:

child-of-dolora:

tiny-septic-box-sam:

oopsabird:

god, GOD Freddie Mercury was such a fucking badass

This doesn’t do the moment justice. He took the swig of vodka, said “I’ll fucking do it darling”, and then ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT in one fucking take

Mood for 2019: “I’ll fucking do it, darling.”

Reblog for Freddie Mercury level belief in yourself this new year! 

I’ll fucking do it, darling

Have the video, because you need to hear it for yourselves. Freddie Mercury’s voice here hurts, not gonna lie, but not because it’s weak or anything. Just because of the lyrics, and knowing how hard it was for him at this point. It’s beautiful, a strong, defiant song in the face of death, it hurts to know that this man was gone before his time.

oatscarwilde-deactivated2024022:

myalgicencephalomyelitiscfstom:

ALT

i’ve been saying it for years:

government considers you able to work if you can give anything more than 0%

employers consider you unhireable if you give anything less than 100%

reasonoftheeye:

nanmarie:

duine-aiteach:

penguinhoe:

useless-irelandfacts:

I’ve officially forgiven Dublin Bus for all the times they were late or never showed up cos the pride Bus they done with proud dads was the most wholesome thing i’ve ever seen in my life & i still can’t watch it without tearing up omfg

i thought i could keep it together but i lost it at “let’s go to pride, son” 

I too lost it at that part

Same here

Hey OP, change your name.